Sweet Chat with Benilde Little

 

Sweet Tea Chat

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Fabulous Southern Belle is honored to feature the Fantabulous, Benilde Little, in the Sweet Tea Chat! Not only is this woman beautiful, she’s super talented. Benilde’s debut novel, Good Hair, was selected as one of the ten best books of 1996 by the Los Angeles Times. Her subsequent novels, The Itch, Acting Out, and Who Does She Think She Is, were all reader favorites. In her latest work, Welcome to My Breakdown: A Memoir, Benilde has penned a moving account of her journey caring for aging parents, raising children, being married, plunging to the depths of depression, and climbing her way out.

This Southern girl is pleased as peach to share a tall glass of sweet tea with Benilde while we chat. So without further ado, let the fabulousness begin…Southern style.

Q. The thing I find most interesting about the South is…

A. That the people are, for the most part, so friendly and will tell the most surprising things—oftentimes--intimate things. I love that! I liked being greeted with a good morning, hello, whatever—acknowledged. We don’t do that up here and it’s a nice thing.

Q. How did I ever live without…

A. My dog—he keeps me grounded and in touch with non-verbal communication. He helps me appreciate other living beings, not just humans.  Dogs are so great, because they keep things real and simple. He also forces me to get out and walk in the park everyday no matter the weather.

Q. My idea of a great vacation is…

A. A deserted beach, warm water in which to swim, some great novels, waiters to bring me food and drinks

Q. If I were a superhero my power would be…

A. My body would be strong, flexible and pain-free

Q. My favorite beauty product is…

A. concealer (under the eyes)—rarely leave home without it!

Benilde Little, Author of Welcome to My Breakdown

 Q. Fried chicken or baked…

A. There’s nothing like some good friend chicken—but I rarely eat it. If I didn’t have to worry about my cholesterol (and my weight), I would be a fryin’ chicken eatin’ somebody.

Q. I never leave the house without…

A. Sunglasses

Q. The most challenging thing about writing is…

A. Let’s see, everything. I guess the hardest part is having really free time, meaning clear headspace where I don’t have to think about anything or anybody else other than what I’m working on. I’m a mom and a wife, and I’m responsible for my 90-year-old father who has dementia, so obviously those completely free moments don’t present themselves often. I just get in what I can, before my teenage son comes home from school.

Q. I wrote, WTMB, because…

A. I was lost and then I lost my mother. My mother and I were extremely close. She was my mirror, my wisdom, my fiercest supporter, my confidante. We loved each other deeply and even before she died, I’d lost something else precious; my ability to write. I was in a mid-life malaise that I couldn’t seem to shake. I was on the precipice of despair and then she died and I fell off a cliff into a pit of sadness. Writing the book was a way to help other people who have suffered with clinical depression, sadness or just a feeling they can’t figure out but know that their life should be better. 

Q. After readers turn the last page I hope they…

A. Will want to remove the mask, to embrace all of who they are, warts and all, to get real. What I’ve learned on my journey, I want to share. I know that being real ain’t pretty, but real is what gets you through the night.

Benilde, thanks again for stopping by and hanging out below the Mason Dixon line with me! I’m so very happy for you and I know your new book will touch and bless many lives!

Click here to order your copy of Welcome to My Breakdown, and don’t forget to spread the word to your family and friends! 

You can learn more about Benilde, her life and her work through the following sites; benildelittle@wordpress.com; @BenildeLittle ; instagram is Blittlevirgin

www.benilde-little.com, Benilde Little Fan page

As always, thanks for reading! Until next time, be fabulous!

Trice Hickman

How Books Opened Up My World

Like many authors, my love of writing began with my love of reading. I've always been intrigued by the written word and the power it holds.

I grew up in a small Southern town in Eastern, North Carolina. There wasn't a lot to do and the cultural offerings (outside of my town's coastal charm) were slim to none. Books became my escape, and started my love affair with literature. Even at a young age I dreamed big dreams. I wanted to meet all kinds of people from different walks of life. I wanted to travel and visit exciting places. I wanted to sample different kinds of foods and customs. Essentially, I wanted to explore life, and I quickly discovered that books could help me do that. I would sit in my bedroom and travel, experience new adventures, solve problems, and meet new people--all without stepping out my front door. Books opened up my world.

Today I still love reading, and I'm blessed to be able to write books for a living. How awesome is that?! There's not a day that goes by that I don't give thanks for this blessing. I'm humbled by it, and thankful to God. In the coming weeks I'll be showcasing other authors on this blog who are also living their dreams, and who will share how they are doing it. In the process I hope their stories will inspire you to go after your dreams, too!

Until later, be fabulous!

Blessings,
Trice Hickman

My Holiday Video Message from Me to You

Wishing you a fabulous holiday and a spectacular New Year!!

Be Fabulous!

Tips for A Relaxing Holiday Season

Southerners are known for doing everything on a large scale, especially the holidays. We're talking turkey with all the trimmings, Christmas trees (several theme trees throughout the house is a must...and don't forget the front yard, too!), holiday feasts, shopping, caroling, family gatherings, and parties galore.

But as much fun as this festive season can be, it can also bring on stress, depression, and exhaustion. Even under the best of circumstances, the last six weeks of the year can cause major anxiety. But it doesn't have to! There's a number of things you can do to create peace, joy, and relaxation.

Here are a few ways to enjoy the holidays and keep your stress to a minimum.

Pray/Meditate-- This is an excellent way to center yourself, connect to a higher power, and gain a sense of peace. It doesn't cost a dime to pray, but you may pay for it if you don't.
Ask for help-- Don't try to do everything yourself. This is the season of giving, but it's also great to receive. If you're blessed to have friends and family who want to help you, bless them by receiving the blessing they want to extend to you.
Exercise-- It's estimated that most people gain 5 lbs. during the holidays. Food, parties, and late night eating can expand the waistline. Exercise can help take the pounds off and it can also help to clear the mind and relieve stress.
Massage-- Stress, along with cramming lots of activities into long days, can cause tight muscles, which can lead to pain, headaches, and poor health. Massage is a proven way to relieve pain and stress, and it's incredibly soothing. Treat yourself to the good life and get a nice, long rub down!
Laugh-- Laughter is medicine for the sole! A good laugh can erase even the worst of moods and can increase endorphins, giving you more energy to enjoy the holidays.
Love from a distance-- Let's face it, there are people who create stress in our lives, and some of them can be people we love. If you encounter an obstacle or problem, the first thing you try to do is remove it. Sometimes you have to take that approach with people, too. Sometimes you have to learn how to love from a distance. Surround yourself with positive people and positive things that will keep stress at bay.
Take Vitamins-- Some people take vitamins to boost energy, while others use them to replenish specific nutrients they're missing from their diet, or, as a result of a health condition. There's also vitamins that help relieve stress. Talk to your doctor, local pharmacist, or naturopath to find vitamins that will work for you. Valerian is a great, natural herb that I love. You can take the capsule whole, or break it open and make a tea. It calms, soothes, and relaxes.

 

Remember, the holiday season only comes once a year, so try to enjoy it! Life is meant to be savored slowly and enjoyed in abundance. From me to you, I wish you and yours a happy Thanksgiving!

PS--Stay tuned for my "Southern Tips for A Relaxing Holiday Season"which will be filled with hilarious things that only Southerners do!

Be Fabulous!
Trice

Wine, Popcorn, and a Movie

I haven't posted here in quite some time because I was under deadline for my 7th novel titled, Secret Indiscretions, which will be released July 28, 2015!

I'm so excited to be out of my writing cave, you have no idea! When I pressed send and submitted my manuscript to my editor, I literally jumped for joy, and then proceeded to take a long nap. It feels fantastic to have completed another novel! And although I have another deadline looming for book #8, I'm going to take a little time to relax (just a little) while gearing up for the next project.

I'm enjoying this brief reprieve and I'll be doing things I enjoy; cooking and baking, hanging with friends, watching movies, reading good books, and of course, shopping! Last weekend I treated myself to a long bubble bath by candlelight, and then I nestled under my comfy chenille throw with popcorn and wine while I watched, The Devil Wears Prada. That movie had me in stitches!! I enjoyed myself (I'm great company, if I do say so!) It was a fabulous evening!

Life is a beautiful experience. Each day is a blessing, so make it count and live the most fabulous life you can. Do things that bring you happiness, excitement, and fulfillment. It can be something as extravagant as a trip to Paris, or as simple as wine, popcorn, and a movie. Whatever you do, make sure it brings your heart great joy!

Be Fabulous!
Trice
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Challenges Help You Learn...

TGIF! Whew! This week has been filled with many challenges and what feels like not enough time. I've been working long hours each day (and into the wee hours of the morning) to finish my novel. Some days I've felt tired, overwhelmed, uninspired, and doubtful about my course. I've had to adjust my writing process along with my work and life schedule. My entire flow is different and somewhat unfamiliar to me. I'm entering uncharted waters, not only with this book, but with my life. It has been unsettling at times. 

But in the midst of it all, I'm learning a lot about myself along this journey. I've learned that I'm so much stronger than I give myself credit for (because I bounce back every day). I'm resourceful (I find a way to get things done). I'm determined (I refuse to give up, period!). And I'm creative (these characters and scenes!...). I'm not bragging, I'm simply sharing my truth, and I thank God for my gifts. I'm also thankful for the angels in my life who support and encourage me daily. 

My fabulous friend, let your strength and determination lead you to resourceful and creative ways to live your life and grow. Plant good people around you and stay encouraged! And never, ever stop dreaming, believing, or wanting more. Faith + Action = Results! 

Be Fabulous!

I'm Feeling Good!

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me...and I'm feeling good."--Nina Simone

The late, great, Nina Simone and I have a few things in common. She was from North Carolina, and so am I. She was African American, and so am I. She stood up for social justice and civil rights, and I champion those struggles, too. She had her own style and sense of beauty, and she embraced them...and now, so do I!

It took me 40 plus years to realize that yes, I am beautiful, and I don't apologize for it. It's not a bragadocious statement, it's simply true. Beauty presents itself in many ways. Most people think of beauty in an aesthetic way, which is natural because we are a visual society. But real beauty comes from within, and transends to the physical. Ever wonder why some women who have "average" looks can attract men like bees to honey, or appear in top fashion magazines, or be herolded as the most popular girl at school, or be the life of the party whom everyone wants to know? It's because of their essence. The unique way they carry themselves. The kindness they extend to others. The talent they allow to shine from within. The respect they show and demand in return. And the confidence and comfort they posesses that lies in knowing they are wonderfully made, exactly as they are. This is the beauty that Ms. Simone owned, along with her beguiling looks; rich dark skin, expressive brown eyes, thick, lucious lips, and impeccable style. This is the beauty that I, too, possess (sans the thick, luscious lips...but you get my drift).

Southern women own their style, embrace their beauty, share it with the world, and do it like nobody else!

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me...and I'm feeling good."

This song resonates for me, as does the life of Ms. Simone. She was a fierce woman, and she did things her own way. She was a sister on a mission who broke down barriers, stepping right over sterotypes of what beauty, talent, and love was supposed to look like. She ushered in a new day! Her life so inspires me, and as I continue my research to learn more about this interesting woman, I'm discovering many things about myself in the process (more on that later). 

Be fabulous, just the way you are!

Blessings,
Trice

If You're Gonna Do Something, Do It Big!

One thing about a Southern Belle--we take everything we do to a whole new level! If we decide to do something, we do it BIG! Take for instance my post-workout meal this afternoon. Normally after I workout I eat a light meal, usually a salad, and I feel satisfied. But today I was hungry--ribs touching my backbone kind of hungry--and I knew a salad wasn't gonna cut it. So I grilled a thick, juicy burger (charcoal grill, which is the ONLY way to go!). Well, I didn't want that delicious burger to stand by itself, so I cooked up some golden fries to go along with it. When I tell you it was scrumptious...Lord have mercy, it was good!

Moral of the story...If you're going to splurge, go all out. After I grilled my thick, juicy burger a little voice said, "Make a small side salad to go with it, that way you can reduce your caloric intake and not ruin your entire workout." But then a bigger voice said, "Excuse me, but that burger needs fries, and you need to enjoy it!" If I ate burgers and fries every day I would've listened to that little voice, but I don't, so I didn't.

Life is too short to deprive yourself of what you want. Moderation and balance is key to most everything. But it also pays to splurge every now and then. Live big, think big, dream big, and enjoy the beautiful blessing we call life...with a thick juicy burger and fries to wash it down!

                                           Do it big and enjoy!

Delicious. Quick. Easy...who wouldn't want to make this!

If you're like me, your days are filled to the brim, spilling over into late evenings most of the week. Between work, family, and the demands of everyday life, finding time to prepare a meal, or even a tasty snack, can be challenging. It's so easy to just grab something on the go. But oftentimes that can be expensive, not to mention it tempts you to make choices that aren't always healthy.

One thing about Southern women; we know how to make find ways to juggle it all. Here's a quick and easy recipe that's delicious, quick, and inexpensive to make. The recipe for the mixture below is easy, and leftovers can be stored in the frig for a few days.

The dish can be served as a meal or curl up with a good book and enjoy it as a snack!

Be fabulous and enjoy!

Black bean and corn Quesadillas. Yum!!

Ingredients: (I don't measure, so just judge according to your taste)

8 inch flour tortilla (I use whole wheat. The taste is richer than the white)
1 can black beans, drained
1 can corn, drained and rinsed (or small bag of frozen corn)
Salsa (I use half a medium size jar)
1/2 small onion, finely chopped
Generous pinch of brown sugar (I use Sugar in the Raw)
Cheese (I use Kraft shredded Mexican cheese blend)
1 tablespoon butter
Olive oil (enough to lightly coat the pan)

Pour olive oil in skillet and heat. Add onions and saute. Stir in black beans, corn, salsa, and sugar. Cook until thoroughly heated, then remove from pan and put mixture aside. Melt butter in a large skillet (medium heat), then place one tortilla atop melted butter. Sprinkle with cheese. Top black bean mixture evenly on cheese. Place another tortilla on top. Make sure to press the edges down with the spatula you're going to use to turn it. Let tortilla cook for a about two minutes on each side. Cut into rectangles and voila! Yummy!

Make Everything Special!

One of the best qualities of a Southern Belle is that we know how to make every occasion special. It's like second nature for us to make a way out of no way, and in many respects, that's not just the Belle in us, that's the South in general. But a Belle knows how to do it with grace, style, and impeccable flare!

The beauty of a Southern Belle is that we understand how to improvise. We don't simply survive, we thrive, and we take everything a "step up." Give a Southern Belle some lemons and she'll not only turn the sour fruit into a sweet refreshing drink, she'll toss in a delicious meringue pie to enjoy along with it. If she's had a long frustrating day, she won't mope or pout about it, she'll examine what went wrong and why, and then she'll get busy making the next day a winner! If she's on a tight budget and can't afford a trip to the spa, she'll create her own relaxing oasis right in the comfort of her own home. We also recognize the importance of celebrating and pampering ourselves.

One of my favorite hotels is the Ritz Carlton, and my absolute favorite service they offer is their bath butler service (the downtown Atlanta, GA, property has the best one I've tried in the country). They draw a bath that's pretty close to what I imagine heaven might feel like. In addition to specially prepared water that makes your skin feel like silk, the experience includes scented candles, fragrant rose petals, amazing gourmet chocolates, and a silver tray filled with bath products to take home. Honey, that's livin'!!

I LOVE nice things and I'm constantly looking for ways to create wonderful experiences that I can enjoy. But let me tell you, nice things don't have to break down your wallet (the Ritz can set you back!). I can't afford to Ritz it up every month, but honey, I'm a Belle, and I know how to do the doggone thing on my own! I can relish in splendor for the cost of an entree at my local restaurant. I found the products below at Walmart, Stein Mart, and Walgreens, and trust me, they work!

Village Naturals Sleep Therapy Foaming Mineral Oil and Dr. Teal's Epsom Salt Soaking Solution can be purchased at Walmart. Ellen Tracy White Amber Bath Salt can be found at Stein Mart, and the Calming Lavender Vanilla Candle is in stock at Walgreens (Note: Yankee Candle's Lavender and Lavender Vanilla scents are divine!).

Take a soak, relax with a nice glass of wine, and make everything in your life special!

Enjoy your Fabulous Life!
XOXO
Trice

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